Food is Not a Game of Perfect

/

Happy summer! I hope everyone has been able to take advantage of the incredible weather we have been having, using it as a distraction for both the pandemic as well as the distressing events that continue to take place both here and around the world.
 
I, for one, have been distracting myself with the very time-consuming and frustrating game of golf, hence the title of this blog, which is based on the book Golf is Not a Game of Perfect, by Bob Rotella.
 
I read this book recently because of a few mindset challenges I was having on the golf course, which of course were reflected in my game, and it dawned on me that I used to do the same thing with food.
 
Years ago, I tried "every diet in the book,” only to fall off in either a few days because of a “slip-up”, or after a week because I didn’t notice any difference in my weight and gave up. This of course was accompanied by a constant negative inner dialogue. Hence, not only did I sabotage what I had set out to achieve, I made myself feel so poorly that it affected every area of my life.   
 
Perfection is not achievable, it’s not realistic and it’s destructive. It sets us up for constant disappointment, as well as the propensity to be quite cruel to ourselves. And then we give up. It’s amazing how good we are at both (women especially).
 
With habits and behaviours around food specifically, it is about much more than just the food on our plates. The emotional baggage can be so complex, and for many can infiltrate every aspect of our lives.

Strategies

So what are some strategies we can employ to move ourselves in the right direction if we are struggling with weight issues or health issues, and feel that our habits and behaviours around food need to change?
 
One way we can help manage the downward spiral is to avoid setting ourselves up for inevitable failure in the first place, which happens with an "all or nothing" approach (perfection in disguise).  
 
Another way is to move away from short-term thinking, because change takes time. If you’ve gotten to where you are over a long period of time, how could you expect major change to happen in a week? It won't.
 
We also need to give ourselves a break when we have “slip-ups”- which, by the way, I refer to as “life happening” (as in, life happens!). Are you going to be “perfect” at that birthday party/wedding/the Sunday night dinner with your favourite dessert of all time? No! Life is too short for that. BUT, it's important to not fall into the trap of feeling that you’ve “ruined everything” when you have indulged. To avoid that feeling, go back to strategy number two above ---> think long term. "Life happening" here and there is not going to mess anything up in the big picture. I promise.

This leads into my next point... moving towards a goal or achievement is not a straight line. There are always setbacks. Don't let them drag you down. Just keep moving forward as best you can, knowing it won't be a straight line and yet knowing overall you are going in the right direction.  
 
It's also important to reframe our experiences, and focus on what we have achieved, instead of what we haven’t achieved. It’s the self-flagellating that can be so destructive to our sense of well being.  And that, in turn, starts the downward spiral. So the next time you hear that little "voice" inside your head putting you down after you've over indulged (or, had yet another bad golf shot ;-), become aware of that negative voice. And rather than letting it drag you down to the depths, start thinking about all the positive things you HAVE done. It takes practice, but the more you catch yourself, the easier it becomes.  

Finally, building on this strategy above, realize that these habits we have around food (or any habit we want to change) are actually serving us by meeting a need. So instead of bullying yourself, be kind instead, and then sit for a few minutes and let that awareness help you uncover what your unmet need might be. For example, do you eat when you are bored? When you are sad? When you are angry? When you are lonely? Getting to the root cause can help loosen the grip on that habit.

In summary:

  • Avoid the all or nothing approach

  • Think long term - lifestyle changes takes time

  • Be kind to yourself when "life happens" 

  • Understand that moving toward your goal won't be a straight line, and that's ok. Just keep moving forward.

  • Focus on what you HAVE achieved, not on what you haven't achieved

  • Determine what needs are being met with your habit

Most importantly, remember that food is not a game of perfect.

And if you happen to struggle with any of the above, let's chat for 15-20 minutes. We can then determine if I am the person to help set you in the right direction.

Thanks for reading :)

gillian