Happier in 2024

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I’ve been finding it very challenging to write about how to “stay healthy” when there are so many troubling events going on in the world. I feel my words become meaningless when others are suffering so much. 
 
So how to reconcile this? 
 
At the risk of sounding trite, cold and unfeeling, my answer is this:  The pursuit of happiness.  Just as sleep, nutrition and exercise are all fundamental to our well being, so is increasing our happiness. For us to make any sort of a difference in these troubled times, with ourselves or others, it starts from within.
 
And the indirect benefit?  The happier and more content we are, the easier it will be to stick to any health goals we may have set for ourselves in 2024.
 
So… what is happiness?
 
Dr. Arthur C. Brooks, author of the NYT bestseller (along with Oprah Winfrey) Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier, states that happiness is not a destination - it’s a direction. And that we will never be completely happy (which, according to Brooks, is good news). In fact, he emphasizes that, “getting happier requires that we accept unhappiness in our lives, understanding it isn’t an obstacle to our happiness”.
 
Getting happier is the goal, rather than happiness being the goal; that no matter where we are in life, we can all be happier. 
 
He also points out that happiness is not a feeling, it’s a skill – something we can work on and build. That too is good news.
 
Brooks’s research is not “light”, as many people are inclined to think when it comes to the subject of happiness. Rather it is data driven and science-based.  With a background in mathematical modelling and applied microeconomics, Dr. Brooks is now the William Henry Bloomberg Professor of the Practice of Public Leadership at Harvard Kennedy School, and Professor of Management Practice at Harvard Business School, where he teaches courses on happiness and leadership. He is also the author of 13 books and writes the column, “How to Build a Life” for the Atlantic. 
 
So – back to the definition of happiness. I searched through a number of different sites for a definition – and none were the same. It seems it’s impossible to define. There are definitions galore, including differences between Western and Eastern cultures (for the West, it’s excitement and achievement; in the East, it’s to be calm and content); differences between ancient philosophers; differences between each and every one of us.

Three macronutrients for happiness
 
Having said that, Brooks states that what does exist are the three macronutrients for happiness:

  • Enjoyment

  • Satisfaction

  • Purpose

Enjoyment

  • In order to have enjoyment, you need two things: community (other people around) and memories 

  • Not to be confused with pleasure (although pleasure can be a part of enjoyment)

  • Think of an amazing meal – pleasure is found through eating it, but enjoyment is when you eat it with loved ones and make memories from that meal

  • Pleasure is easier than enjoyment, but is fleeting and solitary – all addictions involve pleasure, not enjoyment

 Satisfaction

  • The thrill of accomplishing a goal that you worked for

  • IMPORTANT – it doesn’t last!  You need to continue to work hard towards other goals in order to continue to experience satisfaction… again and again

  • Satisfaction comes with work and sacrifice (and herein lies a source of unhappiness)

Purpose

  • The most important macronutrient

  • Helps us face life with hope and inner peace

  • It almost always entails suffering (aka unhappiness)

Of course I’ve just skimmed the surface, but it’s very motivating to know there are definitive metrics (if you believe the research, which I do) when it comes to increasing our happiness.

Other tips to being happier

What I found just as interesting were other key (and actionable) elements of happiness gleaned from the book:
 
Two mistaken beliefs:

  1. “I can be happy” (vs happier)…

  2. “… but my circumstances are keeping me stuck”

Responses:

  • Pure happiness is unattainable 

  • If you can’t change your circumstances, change your reaction to them

  • Your circumstances aren’t the “boss” of how you feel – you are the boss

  • You control you. Take action.

And other tips:

  • Focus more on the world around you, and less on your own problems

  • Focus on the four pillars with which you can construct a better life – family, friends, work and faith

  • It’s not about eliminating or minimizing pain – rather it’s about how to decide to deal with pain, go through it, and learn from it

  • Depending on what state you are in, getting happier is not a quick fix – but a gradual one – like ANY change we are looking to make

  • There are “real friends and deal friends” – only real friends will bring you true happiness.  Real friends take time and effort, but the reward for our mental health is immeasurable

Is our current state of happiness measureable?

The answer is yes. It seems we all have a natural mix of happiness and unhappiness based on both our circumstances and our character.  Based on that, a questionnaire called PANAS (Positive and Negative Affect) was created in 1988 by three American psychologists.  It measures certain emotions and feelings we experience, and how they can affect how we act and make decisions. 

Brooks has taken it further and created profiles based on each individual's results. The particular link I have provided (here and above) is a link to the questionnaire, but is contained within a group lesson plan created by Dr. Brooks.  I've included this version as it gives more of an explanation and clarity to the results, versus just taking the regular questionnaire online. 
 
It’s advised to do the questionnaire when you are feeling in a neutral state – not too happy, not too sad, not too stressed. And to answer how you feel “on average”, not at that particular point in time. 

I confess I was a little discouraged by my result (I would have thought my scores would be different), but was convinced, based on the supportive nature of the outcome of the questionnaire, that every profile plays a role in the world around us. Not only that, I can start putting the information above to work ;-)
 
Take home message

Many of the messages above are almost intuitive – we know that living in a state of pure happiness all the time is unrealistic – we wouldn’t want that. We need the counterbalance of angst, anger, suffering, sadness and all the other elements of unhappiness that exist. 
 
What is heartening, though, is that there is a strategy to becoming happier - something we can work on – while at the same time attempting to manage, learn from, and grow through the hard parts. Welcome to life.
 
Thanks for reading :)
 
Gillian x
PS – please note that if you are struggling with your mental health, the above information may not seem, or be, relevant to you. And if so, it's important that you be open about your struggles and seek support from supportive family members, peers, or professionals in the mental health sector.